Be the best

2024-11-09

Reflections

My wife and I just had our first child and I've been very retrospective of my own life in the context of how I want to parent. What kind of dad would I be? What are some things from my childhood that I would like to bring to my children? What are some things I want to do differently?

Much like many other immigrants, I grew up with parents who expected a lot. They wanted straight A's and they wanted me to be a doctor. I... did none of that. I was a B/C student, flunked out of pre-med, and started my career making $28k as a business analyst for a preschool company. My parents weren't thrilled.

But I'd like to think I've learned a lot in life and have come a long way. Everyone's journey is a very personal experience - but here's what I've learned so far and, hopefully, what I'd like to bring to my children.

Looking back, I believe there are two preconditions for success1:

  1. High Expectations
  2. The belief that you, single handedly, can change the outcome of things

#1 was met early with the high expectations from my parents. But #2 didn't really click for me until late in college. Instead, I just floated through high school and college thinking - "okay, this is just what I'm doing now." I never really questioned the path I was on or thought I could change it.

This changed sophomore year in college when I was prepping for my winter finals. I had always loved the NFL and I, perhaps to procrastinate studying, decided that I wanted to work in the NFL.

Spoiler alert - that didn't happen. But over the course of the next two years, I heavily pursued this dream: I sent gifts, emails, cold calls. I visited NFL practice facilities, mailed my resume. I tried to get a unpaid internship at two different NFL training camps. And while it didn't materialize, I got so much further than I expected - I'm on text friendly basis with multiple NFL front office staff including one GM.

While this didn't work the way I had hoped, it helped flip that switch in my head - if I work really really hard, I can potentially change my life path.

Now, as I type this, I look back at my career - and I'm actually proud of myself. I've come so much further than I ever dreamed. I still have so much to go but I'm proud of how far I've come.

Looking Ahead

As I think about the values I want to impart on my children - I would like to perserve the drive and the belief that you can materially change your life with a bit of persistence and hard work. But, I would like to not anchor this in just career success.

Where I'm landing: Do whatever you want to do2, but be the best at that. If you want to be a {Product Manager, Recruiter, Teacher, Starbucks Barista, Custodian, etc}, do it with pride. Be the BEST at that job.

I've never regretted working hard. Great things come to people who give a shit and back it up with hard work.

Footnotes

Footnotes

  1. HUGE astericks here. Every defines success differently - I'm defining success here as career success. Not everyone shares this belief. ↩

  2. Caveat: if your primary passion won't bring in money, you'll need something to fund your life while pursuing your passion. The starving artist life is a hard, hard life. ↩